The dog days of summer are giving way to school days, school days, dear old golden rule days. Actually, here in Alabama, they’re the same things for a few blistering weeks, but still, the alarm will soon go off a little earlier and you’ll have to roust your little ones and get them out the door on time.
For some of you, this will be your first time in the paper plate carpool line. It will also be your first time dealing with the rigors of preschool parenting. All I can say is…get ready.
Preschool used to be easy. You’d drop your little darling off for a few hours of nursery rhymes and blocks and then bundle them home for a nap. No more. Preschool is now a place of formulated learning, ABC’s and 123’s and the names of all 50 states and their capitals. The kids are expected to know their addresses and phone numbers and their middle names, which up until now have only been used in situations where they were in deep, deep trouble.
Most preschool curriculums are theme-based, meaning that all of that learning will be slipped in amongst a slew of high-octane fun. The kicker is that this fun does not just happen. It requires the team efforts of the teacher, the parents and your neighborhood arts and crafts emporium–and you may not be given your role until a few days beforehand via the classroom newsletter.
Here’s a typical entry: “Yeeehah! Tuesday will be Cowboy Day here in PK-1. Your little buckaroo may come dressed in Wild West attire. Also, here is a pattern for making a stick horse. Let’s saddle up for a great day!”
A few helpful hints: The word “may” here is purely decorative. Unless you want your little darling to be the saddest little cowpoke in PK-1, you need to get going on that Stetson and steed. And be prepared. Cowboy Day is just the beginning.
Before you hit preschool graduation (another gala event), there will be Circus Day, Luau Day, Outer Space Day and Come-Dressed-As-Your-Favorite-Cruciferous-Vegetable Day. As a preschool parent, you will discover talents you never knew you had and become close personal friends with the checkers at Michael’s and Joanne’s. You’ll cut, you’ll glue, you’ll staple.
You’ll also cook. Oh yes, these special days will require not only costumes but special snacks. The sign-up list will include theme-related cookies and drinks and favors and paper products, all coordinated by the class room mother. Get to know this woman. She can make your life easy or cause you to be up until the wee hours of the morning gluing sequins on multicolored wristbands (see Circus Day).
Some room mothers have calling lists, others simply post the special snack components in an email that goes out…whenever she wants it to. By the end of my grandson’s PK stint, my daughter had figured out the room mother was a night owl, sometimes posting the list after 10 p.m., but it was worth it to wait her out because it meant the difference between simply having to send in a jug of Hi-C and assembling a fleet of toilet paper-roll rockets filled with Froot Loops.
Now, she’s not a slacker, my daughter. She happily assembled 24 teddy bear marshmallow fluff sandwiches (Teddy Bear picnic day), but acing out the other mothers to simply send in a stack of sports-themed plates and cups on Field Day was a matter of survival.
Preschool parenting–it’s a jungle out there. But that’s Zoo Day. Tiger tail fruit kabobs and orangutan cupcakes. Get ready.
