By Sue Murphy
A recent ExcomTeleportal poll found (insert desired name) in the lead in the presidential race.” I suppose the pollsters are right, although I was not included in the poll. Come to think of it, I’ve never been asked to name my preferred candidate. Perhaps ExcomTeleportal has no interest in my opinion.
This surprises me because plenty of other people do. When I stopped in to buy a pair of socks the other day, my receipt said that I had been selected to take part in a survey. Not only that, but if I completed it, the company would send me a coupon for $2 off my next purchase. Sweet.
The website said the survey would only take 10 minutes, which seemed a lot of questions for a single pair of socks, but with that $2 coupon in mind, I sallied forth. The questions indeed came in hard and fast:
On a scale from 1-10, how did I feel about the quality of my merchandise vis-a-vis the price I paid. I don’t know. So far, they were nice socks, but I hadn’t run them through the washer.
How accessible was the merchandise in the store? Most of the socks were at a comfortable waist-high level, although I did have to stretch a bit if I wanted to reach the ones with the gold stitching on the toe.
How clean was the store? I didn’t venture past hosiery, but the sock shelf seemed tidy enough.
How likely would I be to return to their establishment? Well, I don’t buy all that many socks, but that’s no reflection on the store.
How likely would I be to recommend them to my friends – very likely, somewhat likely, or not at all? To tell you the truth, my friends and I don’t get around to talking about socks very often, but the next time they come up, I’ll be sure to mention the store in a positive light.
The questions kept coming. How friendly were the sales personnel? There were two people waiting behind me, so in the interest of expediency, the salesclerk and I didn’t get a chance to forge much of a relationship. Still, she, Angela, did scribble a happy face next to a handwritten “thank you” on my receipt, so I guess she was friendly enough.
Or scared. Even if Angela had forgotten the happy face, I wasn’t going to rat her out. You see, this isn’t my first foray into the retail survey arena. Some surveys say that if they don’t receive a 10 in every category, they would be considered a failure. I pictured little hatchet men standing over poor Angela’s cash register ready to terminate her for slipping into the 9’s.
This worries me. No one is a 10. Oh sure, Nadia Comaneci got several 10’s in the Olympic Games, but that was for leaping and twirling and sticking the landing. All Angela was supposed to do was take my money and put my socks in a bag. She did that. Did she do that in a 10 fashion? I’d have to say so, I guess, otherwise I might put poor Angela on the unemployment line.
So, let me say this: thank you, thank you, Angela, for your superb handling of my sock purchase. I hope the company rewards you with a gift card to your favorite fro-yo place.
I can only hope that word of my successful completion of the sock survey will move me on to bigger things – like rating the presidential candidates. No fro-yo for them, I can tell you that.
