By Emily Williams
Before having her twins, Alicia Bailey’s only familial experience with multiples was her grandmother, who was a fraternal twin. The situation was nothing like her potentially identical 9-year-old daughters, Jenna and Aubrey.
“Hair color, eye color, blood type, body type, basic weight,” she said. “So, we are guessing they are identical, but we haven’t had them tested.”
Bailey married her husband, Todd, at the age of 38, and the couple didn’t get pregnant until she was 41.
The chances of what Bailey calls “twinning” increase as a woman ages.
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, for every 1,000 babies born in 2017, 33.3 were twins. In Alabama, there were an estimated 58,941 births that year.
Chances are significantly lower at younger ages and jumps to 44.7 for every 1,000 births for women aged 35-39.
“Having multiples also increased the chances that we would need to have some sort of medical intervention,” Bailey said.
She didn’t have many complications during her pregnancy, at least not physically. The complications for her were balancing her career as a social worker, her pregnancy and the need to care for her mother-in-law, who was quite ill at the time.
During this time, she had her first encounter with the organization Birmingham Area Mothers of Multiples. She attended its annual Twice as Nice Sale.
“We didn’t have any idea if we were having a boy and girl, two boys or two girls,” she said. “So, we didn’t buy a lot. But when we were checking out with the few things we had, I asked about getting involved.”
She pocketed the BAMOM information but didn’t do anything with it for a while.
Bailey’s daughters were born nine weeks early. One baby spent 38 days in the neonatal intensive care unit at St. Vincent’s Hospital, while the other spent 42 days there.
Nevertheless, both babies arrived home in great health.
Bailey didn’t have a “single baby” experience to compare to rearing her twin infants, which she considers a blessing.
“But when I went back to work and they were ready to be in day care, they were sick a lot,” Bailey said, which became a struggle.
Seeking support and advice, she decided to attend her first BAMOM meeting.
Help From Other Mothers
“I immediately felt like everybody understood,” she said. “That’s the great thing about (BAMOM). When you get involved in something where other people are in similar circumstances … they’re dealing with kind of the same struggles that you are.
“Some of the moms had older twins, so we could see that you do survive,” she said. “It was so helpful. When you’re in the thick of it, you can’t really imagine that you are going to make it.”
She continued to return to meetings, even joining the leadership ranks by organizing refreshments for meetings.
“Now I’m in charge of the main moneymaker for the club,” she said.
The annual Twice as Nice Sale, taking place at Metropolitan Church of God Aug. 23-24, has been the main fundraiser for the BAMOM group since the early 80s.
Its purpose is multifaceted, offering an opportunity for club members to make some money, raising funds for the club’s programs and providing a place for mothers to purchase great baby gear without paying full price.
“When you have babies who are born apart – by nine months, 12 months, two years, whatever – you have a trickle-down effect. You can use your first’s crib for the next one,” Bailey said. “With twins, you don’t get that.”
The sale makes up for any lack of hand-me-downs, offering maternity and children’s clothing and equipment, including strollers, swings, high chairs, car seats, nursery bedding, furniture and more.
“We are very careful about quality control,” Bailey said. “We are very careful about anything that is under recall … because it can put other children at risk.”
While the mothers make money from what they sell, a small percentage of the sales feeds back into the organization to support its initiatives.
In Times of Need
In addition to social and psychological support programs, money is set aside for any need a mom of multiples might have.
“We had a mom who was very young, and she had twin boys,” Bailey said. “One of the twin boys had a defect that was not compatible with life. So, he lived for about three weeks … but when the end came, she was struggling to get money together for a funeral. So, we helped provide some assistance with the funeral.”
They have bought flowers, car seats, cribs and even new tires for moms; but the service spreads beyond the organization’s membership.
According to Bailey, if a social worker were to call BAMOM and say they couldn’t send a mother home with her twins because she didn’t have car seats, BAMOM would make sure car seats got delivered to the hospital.
It’s stories like those that keep Bailey finding space in her busy schedule for BAMOM.
“I retired at the beginning of 2018 from my social work job after 25 years, so picking up the sale and taking that on has allowed me to continue to move forward in that kind of position where I help people,” she said.
The Twice as Nice Sale will take place from 4:30 p.m. to 8 p.m. on Aug. 23, and 8 a.m. to noon on Aug. 24, with items half-off. For more information, visit BAMOM.org.
