By Krissie Allen
It was just an old school picture.
I was recently getting settled into my new home and sorting through forgotten boxes filled with childhood photographs when I saw it. It was my first grade picture, the one where I was wearing my favorite yellow dress and an angel charm necklace.
I had stumbled across it a few times over the years, and each time, I had taken a quick look before slipping it back into the box.
This time, though, something stopped me from just giving myself a passing glance before moving on to “real life.”
It was a weird moment because my natural tendency is like that of most women and mothers I know. We lean a bit “other heavy.”
When it comes to both seeing and meeting the needs of others, our feminine instincts give us a fair dose of superpower. Got a crisis? We’ll bring you dinner. Need assistance? Sign us up. Feel disappointed? We’ve got encouraging words and a shoulder to cry on. Want to celebrate? We’ve got the wine!
This instinct is especially true when it comes to tending to our loved one’s health and well-being. We will happily spend extra at the grocery if it means putting together a more nutritious meal for our family. We will insist that everyone get an adequate amount of rest, and we will make sure that every doctor, dental or therapy appointment is scheduled and kept, because by golly, they matter.
While the ability to care of others is a beautiful gift, we don’t always pull from those same superpowers to respond to our own needs, however.
I have often laughed with my mom friends about our preference for “meals of nonsense” (Olives and pita, anyone?) that we prepare just for ourselves on particularly busy nights, or health screenings and doctor appointments we’ve put off because we simply don’t have the time. I even confess to having succumbed to an, “Ignore it long enough, and it’ll go away” health and wellness mindset for myself when it has just felt like too much trouble to think otherwise.
But with 49 years of life now under my belt, my perspective has elevated a notch.
Maybe it’s because I’ve watched some of my loved ones pass away and others fight like warriors through diseases like cancer. Maybe it’s because the older I get, the more the quote, “When you have your health, you have everything,” seems to have a Biblical legitimacy. Maybe it’s because there is mounting evidence from my creaking joints, aching back and slowing mind that my body is in need of some TLC. Maybe it’s because life just feels like more serious business the older you get.
Whatever the case, I’m starting to realize that prioritizing my own health and wellness isn’t some selfish fad but rather another act of womanly love.
So, when I ran across my childhood picture that day, I resisted the urge to simply toss it back into the box and did something unexpected.
I framed it – in the prettiest silver frame I could find, too. Then I set it on top of a chest next to the pictures of my own children, who mean so much to me.
And every now and then – when I’m inclined to push my needs aside or skip the much-needed nap, the nutritious meal or the appointment I don’t feel like I have time for – I look at it.
I let it remind me that I was once a child who mattered and deserved heroic care.
I let it remind me that I, like all women, still do.
Krissie Allen is a former English teacher and attorney who aspires to find the humor in life. She writes in Birmingham while raising her five children and bravely facing unfathomable amounts of laundry.
