A funny thing happened on the way to writing this column.
With my daughter graduating high school next month, I started writing something practical to graduates on how to navigate their next steps, something about leading with character. Then, the latest addition to our family—our Terrier mutt-of-a-dog named Beaux—started a brawl with our more docile dog Atticus and disrupted my train of thought.
It happens a lot.
In fact, it’s been almost a year since Beaux came to live with us off the streets of Birmingham, and at times (like this morning while writing), he can be a real pill. He constantly plays cat and mouse with my toes, digs up our flowerbeds, plays in dirt after a bath, chews up any stray sock, pillow, candy wrapper, or pop-it left on the floor, and seems virtually indifferent to rewards for improved behavior.
But in spite of these annoyances, I’ve nonetheless found myself admiring some of his more unique qualities. He’s grown increasingly loyal to our family as we’ve earned his trust; he relishes attention but doesn’t live for our approval; he lets us know in clear, barking terms when we’ve let him down (usually by not giving him our burgers at dinner); and—this one is important— he’s pretty darn satisfied with who he is.
I suppose part of his complex character stems from being born of a world different than the more bona-fide dogs. He hasn’t been bred to simply be a companion, a performer, or a “good” dog as the world defines it. He won’t let criticism get him down or detract him from his pursuits. He’ll never complacently sit behind a fence or on a sofa and will never let anyone’s perception dictate how he behaves. Imperfect as he can be at times, he just lives as the good Lord created him.
And he got me thinking about the advice I wanted to give our graduates.
So here it is:
Graduates, as you embark on this next stage and attempt to find your place in the world, consider the best part of Beaux… and consider mutting it up a little.
I should probably clarify at this point I’m not suggesting anyone act unnecessarily foolish or agitate neighbors for fun. We aren’t dogs, after all. But good ole Beaux’s mutt mentality does teach a little bit about how to dial down the person the world wants you to be and dial up the person you actually are.
For example…
Make choices because they suit your personal values, goals and ambitions, not because they simply conform to the majority’s choices. Be willing to take risks that mean something to you without concerning yourself too much over how those risks might be perceived. Don’t let an eagerness to please someone tie you into any undeserving relationship or stifle your pursuit of any God-given dreams. Be willing to say (preferably with more kindness than an aggressive bark) what you actually think, not just what others want to hear. Unapologetically pursue interests and hobbies (assuming they don’t involve destroying flowerbeds) that make you feel more alive and then have the courage to follow where they take you. Embrace and elevate the parts of your personality that set you apart from others and find ways to inject them into the world as a gift.
In other words, avoid creating a life based on mere conformity, going along to get along, or prioritizing perception over what you know to be true or good. Instead, dig into the world before you and mutt it up by being soulfully and authentically you.
Because you, and the world you impact, will be better (and a whole lot more interesting) for it.
