I realized something this month, as I found myself facing all my kids’ culminating end-of-the-year events, including recitals, banquets, graduation, first communion and multiple mother-daughter trips.
Though some parents thrive around such busyness, I realized I am not one of them. In fact, it all makes me feel like I’m being buried alive. I therefore become snippy, hostile, whiny and generally a sour puss.
Given the month’s excessive demands, though, I had basically accepted my demeanor as understandable. After all, doesn’t a mom like me get a free pass on a tantrum or two when the world asks too much of us? I even considered making a T-shirt that would read, “It’s not you, it’s May.”
That is, until last Saturday.
I was feeling particularly grumpy and had retreated into my bedroom to sulk over the month’s overload when I overheard my husband stop my youngest from running into my room to show me a flower. “Shh, don’t go in there. Your mom needs to rest,” he said.
Normally, I’d just thank God for a good man, but hearing it out loud and in that context struck me differently. I was embarrassed. I had let my emotions get the best of me and turn me into someone who needed to be tiptoed around, avoided. It was then I realized, maybe this mom didn’t need a T-shirt. Maybe she needed an attitude adjustment.
Just how to adjust my attitude I wasn’t sure. It felt firmly in place. But my years of teaching and parenting had taught me that sometimes the quickest way to end a bad attitude is simply with a “time-out,” a chance to reflect and gain perspective.
I decided to sentence myself to one.
Though I wasn’t exactly sure what my adult time-out would look like, I figured the upside of being 50 years old is that I get to design it as I see fit. My husband suggested I take a beach trip, but that sounded too much like an excuse for “me time.” I needed perspective, not a reward.
After considering some options, I ultimately decided to simply block off one morning and take a drive – a long drive – with no agenda or direction other than to think. And think I did.
I thought about my kids as well as their peers, who were excitedly getting ready to showcase and celebrate their hard work, and how I had let my own stress interfere with the good they wanted to share.
I thought about those old teacher posters I used to hang on my school walls, the ones that offer encouraging words like, “A good attitude starts with gratitude,” or “The only thing you can control is your attitude and effort.” I believed those words but somehow failed to embrace their wisdom when I needed it.
Then I thought about how this month would be easier to handle (and a good attitude easier to embrace) if I would just make more personal preparations, including getting enough sleep.
And finally, I thought about one more important event that happens this month: Memorial Day – the day we honor those men and women who have literally given their lives for our country to make it possible for common folks like me to live safe, ordinary and happily hectic lives.
By the time I got home from my time-out, I felt more like myself. I even felt that little emotion of gratitude creeping in again, turning all my “have to do’s” this month into “get to do’s.”
And thankfully, it came in the nick of time, as I am now hoping to finish this month strong. I might even make a T-shirt that reads, “It’s May, and I’m So OK.”
