By Sue Murphy
My goodness, this has been a busy summer — and spring — and what passed for the tail end of winter. We’ve been through so many rabbit holes that it feels like an Alice in Wonderland adventure.
Some people say Jumanji, but I rewatched the movie and my experience these past few months has been less “roll the dice and find a way out” and more inexplicably “off with her head!”
Pandemic not enough to make you yell, “Curiouser and curiouser!”? How about swarms of locusts three times the size of New York City (the swarms, not the locusts) systematically eating their way across two continents? Not our continent, thank goodness, although, somebody needs to knock on wood right now because who could have anticipated the rest of this mess?
Here’s another fun fact I came across: On May 29th, astronomers noticed a new family of sunspots. I’m not talking about those annoying shadows on the back of your hand. I mean complex magnetic fields that may or may not indicate increased solar activity that may or may not take out our GPS satellites. That’s a lot of not knowing.
There are a lot more things I don’t know. Are bonds a good investment right now? Is there a way to suppress self-rising flour? Is there any point in wearing mascara on a day when the only one who sees you is the dog? Points to ponder, my friends.
I did manage to glean a few pearls of wisdom over the summer. First of all, despite what your mother told you, Playdough is more rather than less fun when you mix all the colors together. Really. I don’t care whether you’re rolling or cutting or extruding or making pretend dinosaur teeth, it’s better when you do it with a wide, wide spectrum.
Secondly, I learned that taking selfies is not my strong suit. My arms are so short that my face ends up looking like a reflection in a doorknob or one of those hooded intruder shots on somebody’s Ring doorbell system. If I really need my picture taken, I’ll just come stand on your doorstep.
The biggest thing I’ve learned over the summer, however, is that kids need other kids. A 5-year-old friend of mine marched up to his mother last week and said, “I want to play with someone who is not Melania.” (Melania being his sister and not the president’s wife, in this case.) I get it. Sisters are fine to play with for a while, but it’s part of their DNA to disrupt and derail their sibling’s happiness.
Grownups are a poor playmate substitute, too. First of all, they’re not good hiders. It’s like they’re not even trying. They do Lego constructions according to the directions, and when you play superheroes, they have this insane notion that the goal is for everyone, even the Batman and Joker, to be friends.
No, a kid needs to play with another kid who also likes to jump off furniture, who clearly sees the couch as a fort, who thinks a demolition derby with pilfered Barbie dolls (Melania’s) at the wheel of your remote control cars is worth the angry sister fallout.
It’s a scary world right now. I know we have to be as careful as humanly possible, but I also know that kids need other kids, non-related, other-household kids. They need someone to play with who is not Melania. So, I’m throwing up a little prayer that this back-to-school effort goes well. Actually, it’s a big prayer. We may need it.
