OK, I am still a little bit confused about this Metaverse thing. I promise you, I have listened as intently as I know how, kept my mind open past the point when it would have ordinarily slammed shut, and still, my question is … What???
I think I get the “why” part. We’ve all had days when relocating to an alternate universe sounds like just the ticket, but so far, I’m not seeing that this Metaverse idea is much of an upgrade.
In some ways, it seems worse. While each person can design his/her own avatar, the ones I’ve seen look like old school Minecraft throwbacks, maybe even further back than that. Imagine Oregon Trail characters stomping around in equally chunky settings. I consider that a serious design misstep. I mean, get Pixar on the job, for heaven sakes.
If you’re going to clomp around the Metaverse, you will want to bring your real universe money, because you need it for shopping and nightlife. If you connect with the right Metaversian friends, you may even be invited to a clunky cocktail party, although the point of plunking money down for a virtual lemon drop martini escapes me. Again, not getting it.
You can even buy properties in the Metaverse, such as they are. One site offered several apartments – or houses, I’m not really sure – that are located (how?) on Ocean Drive in South Beach, but if you want one, you’d better act fast because some of the less expensive ones are already taken. Maybe they had an obstructed view.
On top of all this, there are reports of Metaverse bullying and price gouging and other unpleasantness. Already? That doesn’t bode well. If I were going to bail out to an alternate “’verse,” I’d want it to be one where everyone was nice. Nice, I’d pay for. I could relocate to Nice.
Proponents of the Metaverse seem positively giddy. They are certain that this new world will house our joint future. Very soon, they insist, we will all be living extensive lives through our visors from the comfort of our couches.
Right now, I remain a holdout. It may mean that I will be left behind, but it won’t be the first time. Over the years, I dodged the minivan mandate. I escaped the curly perm. I did not collect Beanie Babies or have a pet rock. I did not watch “Game of Thrones” or moon over the Twilight trilogy. And yet, I’m still here.
My plan is to stay put, at least until the dust settles. See if the hype pans out. If billions of people do, indeed, choose to live in the Metaverse, that could leave the current “’verse” to me and my similarly backward counterparts. We can revel in shorter lines in Disney World. The drive thru at Starbucks will be a snap. It could be a dream come true! On the other hand, if all of the workers jump to the Metaverse, I may have to learn to run the Peter Pan ride myself, but hey, how hard could it be?
Metaversians, don’t let me rain on your virtual parade. Go forth … or wherever it is you go.
And don’t worry. If the Metaverse proves to be an unfortunate pet rock/curly perm detour, that’s OK. You’ll come back to terra firma, blinking in the sunlight, and the holdouts will be here to welcome you home – or to say, “I told you so.” The whole Nice thing isn’t universal here yet, either.
Metaverse? I’m still learning. In the meantime, I’d love it if someone could give me a little help understanding this Bitcoin business.