By Taylor Bright Photo by Jordan Wald
There is a moment in Dean Paugh’s life that is baked into his memories. A moment that provided clarity about what his relationship with his father was and what his relationship with his sons would be.
The family—Paugh’s parents, his two sisters and brother—had traveled to Memphis for the Liberty Bowl to watch Alabama play Colorado in 1969. A mix of fans for both teams and locals watched the Crimson Tide lose to the Buffaloes by two touchdowns. (The game was memorable for a Black team captain for Colorado standing alone for the coin toss against a still all-white Alabama team, which had just signed its first Black player four days earlier.) In the stands on that sunny December day, ice began to rain down on the Paugh family.
Paugh’s father, Clarence, had grown up in what Paugh describes as “pretty rough” circumstances in Roanoke, Virginia. He had flown bombers in World War II and attended Alabama on the G.I. Bill, deciding to enroll after listening to the Crimson Tide’s 1946 Rose Bowl victory on the radio. Now, he sat in the stands watching with his family as his team lost and locals were throwing ice down on the Alabama fans from above and striking his wife.
“My dad said, ‘There they are.’ And I’m looking at my brother watching my father barrel up those steps and wade through that mob of Tennessee fans.” The relationship the elder Paugh had with his children was one marked by absence, Paugh said. He was out of town for work. When he was in town, Paugh remembered spending time out of the house golfing. The rearing and support came from his mother, Virginia, even though Paugh is careful to not diminish his father. “He had a tougher side to him, probably just a product of that generation in general,” Paugh says.
But that day changed how 12-year-old Paugh viewed his “no-nonsense” dad. “He came back down those steps. Didn’t say anything,” Paugh says. “I looked down at him, and his knuckles were bleeding, and I thought, ‘My father is a god.’ And, two things changed. Nobody threw any more ice at my mother, and I forever respected my father. So that kind of defines the person that he was…It did change my view of him. And he adored us all. We all had different interests, and my sister was an artist, and he supported her, and he was good to us, but he had a hard personality, and I think it affected the way I treat my boys.”
If you have heard of Paugh (pronounced like paw) before, it is because the Vestavia Hills resident is a state-champion wrestler who is the father of two state-champion wrestlers, Morgan, 29, and Matthew, 26.
Through wrestling, Paugh created a bond with his sons that has extended past their participation and their days on the mat. Both sons started wrestling early with Paugh coaching them, but he was careful not to be the type of parent who is constantly pushing their child or berating them in public. “You have obsessive parents who push too hard, trying to make their kids be something they were unable to be,” Paugh says as he talks about the rigors of being alone in civilized combat on the wrestling mat. “He doesn’t need to see Vince Lombardi stand there on the corner when he gets done.”
Paugh then admits to the one time he made what he believed was an innocuous comment after one of Morgan’s matches in fourth grade. Ten years later, his son reminded him of it. “So I tell parents, if you think jumping on your kid and piling on is the thing to do, I did it one time and my son never forgot it,” Paugh says.
While Morgan may have never forgotten it, he cherishes the relationship his father created and the person he became through his 10 years of wrestling. During conversation, he even mentions the same quote his dad mentioned separately from wrestling legend Dan Gable, “Once you’ve wrestled, everything else in life is easy.”
Morgan Paugh says, “Ten years through a sport with him really as a mentor in a lot of ways, that binds you together. A significant aspect of our family is the sport of wrestling. And not to understate it, because it was such a meaningful impact on me. It changed my life forever. Period.”
The relationship Dean Paugh has with his two boys is obvious. That’s not to say they didn’t have their conflicts or disagreements, but there is the throughline of mutual love and respect. “Time with my boys is not a burden or sacrifice,” Dean Paugh says. “It is a joy. I think about this a lot. Everybody loves their kids. That’s not the same thing as enjoying them, right? And, I think I’ve earned the right to say this. I don’t think anybody has enjoyed their sons more than me.”
Both sons went to the University of Alabama like their father and grandfather. Morgan has already joined his father at the financial services firm Raymond James, and Matthew says he is studying with an eye on doing the same.
“I don’t think a ‘good dad’ justifies it enough. I think he’s the best dad,” Morgan Paugh says. “My dad is the most influential person in a positive way in my life I’ve ever had. He was the perfect role model for me growing up and still is today.”
It’s a sentiment Matthew Paugh echoes with a message to his dad for Father’s Day: “Thank you for always believing in me. Thank you for putting up with some shenanigans from time to time. I’m going to implement what you’ve taught me in my family, so that I can hopefully have as good a relationship with my children as I have with you.”
